Well not really, but hurt really bad in an explosion
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2009/01/29/harry-potter-stuntman-suffers-horror-injury-in-film-set-explosion-115875-21079076/
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A clearer mind?
So it has been 26 days since I had my last drink. 26 fucking days. I dont think I have ever gone this long in my adult life of drinking which started pretty young at say 17 or so. It feels really good, its an accomplishment of sorts. At this point I feel like I could go the rest of my life with out and I will be ok with that. I chose to stop to really get my head on right and back in between my shoulders instead of in between my ass cheeks, slowly its working every day I smell a little less shit and a little more fresh air.
I had made some bold moves to change things about my life, better myself and possibly the things in my life and the people around me. Time will sort the rest out.
The best I can do now is go head up, feet moving, eyes forward and keep going. I am taking this critical thinking class this semester that I think I will really like. Within the first 2 weeks of class I have made more comments that have offended people or made me look like a complete jerk off than I have made in a long while so I am pretty into it, I enjoy speaking up and getting my peice of mind in I so rarely do it.
"Shotgun Willie sits around in his underwear, biting on a bullet pulling out all of his hair, Shotgun Willie has got all of his family there. Well you cant make a record if you aint got nothing to say"
I really am a super freak fan for Willie Nelson.
Anyway, things seem in shambles at times. With time it will feel a little less like that. I feel like I am still sorting through some rubble from a massive earth quake and each day I find another memory, a piece of a picture, a shirt or a tea pot. Little surprises or reminders that make me remember why.
One day at a time. I guess I dont have that much more of a clearer mind. This little entry shows I am still jumbled and all over the road.
I had made some bold moves to change things about my life, better myself and possibly the things in my life and the people around me. Time will sort the rest out.
The best I can do now is go head up, feet moving, eyes forward and keep going. I am taking this critical thinking class this semester that I think I will really like. Within the first 2 weeks of class I have made more comments that have offended people or made me look like a complete jerk off than I have made in a long while so I am pretty into it, I enjoy speaking up and getting my peice of mind in I so rarely do it.
"Shotgun Willie sits around in his underwear, biting on a bullet pulling out all of his hair, Shotgun Willie has got all of his family there. Well you cant make a record if you aint got nothing to say"
I really am a super freak fan for Willie Nelson.
Anyway, things seem in shambles at times. With time it will feel a little less like that. I feel like I am still sorting through some rubble from a massive earth quake and each day I find another memory, a piece of a picture, a shirt or a tea pot. Little surprises or reminders that make me remember why.
One day at a time. I guess I dont have that much more of a clearer mind. This little entry shows I am still jumbled and all over the road.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Last Lecture
So I have been on a big reading kick lately and just plowing through some books. Generally I go with politically driven, history, medical or nonfiction. I tried something a little different, well not too different just the context I suppose. I went with "self help" just the section I got the book from.
Its written by Randy Pausch who was a professor at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh. This book is a reflection on his life and how anything is possible. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and fought it with years even though he knew it claims just about all of its victims he went on with hope to beat it. He was offered to do a lecture at Carnegie Mellon which he took the offer on. At the time he accepted it he wasnt fully sure of how long he had to live because he was still going through aggressive bouts of chemo. Not too long before his lecture he found out he had 3-6 months left. He still put on the lecture and worked day and night to get it right.
Its about how with some dedication and time you can do anything you want as long as you stay focused and work on it, all of your lifes goals can be met. This man did everything he wanted too in his short life. He met "Captain Kirk", published in an encyclopedia, was in an anti gravity chamber at NASA, worked with the Disney Imagineers and so on. Its inspiring and great insight to never really give. It really shows how someone can appreciate their life and there is something to be gained from this read.
Highly recommend this book to everyone. Its a quick easy read but a very good read. He died shortly after his lecture and this is truly a person to admire.
Its written by Randy Pausch who was a professor at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh. This book is a reflection on his life and how anything is possible. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and fought it with years even though he knew it claims just about all of its victims he went on with hope to beat it. He was offered to do a lecture at Carnegie Mellon which he took the offer on. At the time he accepted it he wasnt fully sure of how long he had to live because he was still going through aggressive bouts of chemo. Not too long before his lecture he found out he had 3-6 months left. He still put on the lecture and worked day and night to get it right.
Its about how with some dedication and time you can do anything you want as long as you stay focused and work on it, all of your lifes goals can be met. This man did everything he wanted too in his short life. He met "Captain Kirk", published in an encyclopedia, was in an anti gravity chamber at NASA, worked with the Disney Imagineers and so on. Its inspiring and great insight to never really give. It really shows how someone can appreciate their life and there is something to be gained from this read.
Highly recommend this book to everyone. Its a quick easy read but a very good read. He died shortly after his lecture and this is truly a person to admire.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Why do we try the things we do?
"There goes the fear"
Life is a game of trial and error. Always has and always will be. Right now I am in the trial phase of trying to fix my errors. At one point it seemed like that was going to go well, instead it went bad pretty fast. I want it to go good. I guess all I can do is test and re-test, kind of like companies do to perfect their product. I suppose if you want something to work bad enough you will try and try and try until the final product satisfies you and everyone else. Its like the rinse repeat type deal.
"Killed myself when I was young"
I ran, I ruined, I realized, I regretted, I reconciled, I recommended, I relished, I reunited, I regained, I re-lost.
Its funny the patterns we find ourselves in. Right now I am in the pattern of trying to right my wrong, mend wounds, put back together, pick up and super glues the pieces. As of this moment in time that is working against me. Someone once said to me "What good is regretting choices you made and things that happened. You cant get anywhere if you do that" This same someone said we could try to mend our wounds and move forward again, this same person then said forget it just a week and a half later. I am dumbfounded, baffled and quite frankly very lost. Hurt or upset would be putting it lightly.
Its been 19 days since I had my last drink (I know thats not long but its a start). I did it for many reasons. One was to mend old wounds, get a clearer mind and better myself. Well that was 3. Most importantly it was for me. I use alcohol to deal with problems and numb how I feel as many other people do. With that I ruined a good thing in my life and a good person. Now I suffer the consequences of all of that. When I realized this I realized I cant drink or I will repeat the cycle for as long as I live. I became more miserable with each sip and with each sip another would follow so that I couldn't feel or that I would hope I couldn't. Then all moderation was lost and I became a mess. Self medicating is the wrong way to deal with yourself and your problems as I found out the hard way.
"I am the boy your mother wanted you to meet"
Honesty is the best way to solve problems. Or so I was told. What a fairy tale that is. In the "healing" process I put everything out there that I had done, experienced and had happen to me. Well in doing so, being honest worked against me hard. So I guess now I will always lie, cheat and steal to solve my problems instead of being honest. I guess that could replace my drinking issue.
"What a crying shame what we became"
We went from happy and satisfied to bitter and unsatisfied.
Oh life
"The tears we cried dried up yesterday"
When I said I loved I meant what I said. When I said what I felt I meant it. It really did make my fingers tingle. I really thought we could be we.
I meant everything I said and said everything I meant
Life is a game of trial and error. Always has and always will be. Right now I am in the trial phase of trying to fix my errors. At one point it seemed like that was going to go well, instead it went bad pretty fast. I want it to go good. I guess all I can do is test and re-test, kind of like companies do to perfect their product. I suppose if you want something to work bad enough you will try and try and try until the final product satisfies you and everyone else. Its like the rinse repeat type deal.
"Killed myself when I was young"
I ran, I ruined, I realized, I regretted, I reconciled, I recommended, I relished, I reunited, I regained, I re-lost.
Its funny the patterns we find ourselves in. Right now I am in the pattern of trying to right my wrong, mend wounds, put back together, pick up and super glues the pieces. As of this moment in time that is working against me. Someone once said to me "What good is regretting choices you made and things that happened. You cant get anywhere if you do that" This same someone said we could try to mend our wounds and move forward again, this same person then said forget it just a week and a half later. I am dumbfounded, baffled and quite frankly very lost. Hurt or upset would be putting it lightly.
Its been 19 days since I had my last drink (I know thats not long but its a start). I did it for many reasons. One was to mend old wounds, get a clearer mind and better myself. Well that was 3. Most importantly it was for me. I use alcohol to deal with problems and numb how I feel as many other people do. With that I ruined a good thing in my life and a good person. Now I suffer the consequences of all of that. When I realized this I realized I cant drink or I will repeat the cycle for as long as I live. I became more miserable with each sip and with each sip another would follow so that I couldn't feel or that I would hope I couldn't. Then all moderation was lost and I became a mess. Self medicating is the wrong way to deal with yourself and your problems as I found out the hard way.
"I am the boy your mother wanted you to meet"
Honesty is the best way to solve problems. Or so I was told. What a fairy tale that is. In the "healing" process I put everything out there that I had done, experienced and had happen to me. Well in doing so, being honest worked against me hard. So I guess now I will always lie, cheat and steal to solve my problems instead of being honest. I guess that could replace my drinking issue.
"What a crying shame what we became"
We went from happy and satisfied to bitter and unsatisfied.
Oh life
"The tears we cried dried up yesterday"
When I said I loved I meant what I said. When I said what I felt I meant it. It really did make my fingers tingle. I really thought we could be we.
I meant everything I said and said everything I meant
Friday, January 9, 2009
Stopping the Drink
So its been some days since I last had a drink and its going to be some more until I have another. How many more who the hell knows. At this point it could be never again and I would be fine with that. I need to do me and get my shit straight, fix my problems, get life straight and correct my past so that I can lead into the future and have it the way I like.
This will take some time, effort, energy and support but I think I have all involved that I need. We shall see where this road takes me. So far sobriety has been aiight and I cant complain. Money in the bank, not a head ache in sight, clearer mind and rational decision making. I am kind of really into it.
I feel I chose all of the right intentions to do so too. Better myself, correct what I did wrong, get back what I gave up and almost lost and learn to feel without using booze to feel.
This will take some time, effort, energy and support but I think I have all involved that I need. We shall see where this road takes me. So far sobriety has been aiight and I cant complain. Money in the bank, not a head ache in sight, clearer mind and rational decision making. I am kind of really into it.
I feel I chose all of the right intentions to do so too. Better myself, correct what I did wrong, get back what I gave up and almost lost and learn to feel without using booze to feel.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
I Guess London gets Down
So apparently in London for New Years Eve people go buck wild. At least this articles leads me to believe that.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1103843/Boozy-Britains-bloody-New-Year-A-999-seven-seconds-alcohol-induced-mayhem.html
Maybe I should take some foot notes for next year. Hope everyone rang in the New Year safe and happy with people they wanted to do it with
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1103843/Boozy-Britains-bloody-New-Year-A-999-seven-seconds-alcohol-induced-mayhem.html
Maybe I should take some foot notes for next year. Hope everyone rang in the New Year safe and happy with people they wanted to do it with
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