I cant believe Spike Jonze turned this into a movie.



Best thing ever

Happy memorial day all. Lets remember what its really for. While camping rules along with summer. Remember those who fell for our nation. I took a the time to make a visit to the "Soldiers Plot" today. This is what I saw.

So I headed out west last week to find a place to live. I was unsure of what I was going to find or think of the area I am moving to since it was the only part of the west I had never been too. To my surprise I was quite into it. A drive north of San Fran and a drive south of Portland and you are in some amazing country.




The beaches really blew me away. This was my first day there and I stumbled on this beach here. Boring I know


I drove up and down the Avenue of The Giants and on all the scenic side roads in awe of the Redwoods and how insanely massive these trees are. It is probably one of the cooler things I have ever seen.



This is Whiskey Town Lake. I took a long unintentional drive through the Shasta/Trinity National Park and Mountain range. It was 2 hours of winding, up and down, hair pin, stomach dropping and motion sickness roads and this was at the end on the other side. It was impressive and hot as fuck. It went from 65 degrees a few hours before on one side to 90 degrees on this side. There were some cliffs that I really thought I was going to plummet off of in the car.



I really wish I could say I hollowed this piece of fire wood out myself.







Oh and Elk are way bigger in person.








Anyway. Narrating all these pictures is pointless. Humboldt County California is absolutely amazing and beautiful. There are tons of landscape surprises around each bend and down every road. I am psyched I am moving there. I found a house that over looks the mountains in a good neighborhood. My living room windows look right out into the ranges and my land lord says I cant put the trash out the night before because it attracts bears. Well guess what I want to see a bear up close so I am putting my trash out the night before. I should make friends with all the neighbors when I do that. In about a month I get on the road and head out. I am getting excited for the change

This whole swine flu

Ok, so it sucks that there is a strain of flu out there that we have never seen, its killed some people and infected some. It will kill a few more and infect a lot more.

Do people forget that seasonal flu kills half a million people each year. Relax world. Everything will be ok.

Don't let the swine get you

It was a sunny day. A hot day. I think it was 89 degrees on Saturday. So I decided to head out to the "range" with a few people, but of course this was after a stop at Gus's so we could feel the pain of the delicious delicacies that fine stand produces. Across the tracks and into the woods. How ever I thought we might find a dead body just off the tracks. Maybe one named Brower? First name Ray?






I am rather positive Sam wishes he could take the credit for the kill. But either mother nature laid this creature to rest, some one out on the hunt, or a passing car or truck? It seems lately I have been finding creatures that are deceased and I am not sure why. Its really starting to freak me out a little.




It smelled like hot trash over this pile of bones baking in the sun. NATUREEEEEE





And he sure as shit aint no John Rambo. But watch out if you are a female this beast likes to mate.




And who said a Jew can't shoot a gun?



That was Saturday in a nutshell. Yea a little odd

Some creatures just dont have any luck. After my brief yet intense investigation I determined there was no foul play. This little guy got wedged in a crack in the tree and was not able to get out. The hard luck of nature.

I also recently discovered that if you are lost in the woods and worried that Blair Witch may be taunting you to just look for this tree as it will point you in the direction of your car. When in doubt just search for this tree.

On a side note. I am out this summer. Off the the left coast for a few years. More information on that to come.

Changes a coming

Life is so up in the air fam. I did find out today that I got this job in California. Its out in Humboldt Bay which has been deemed gorgeous by anyone I ask. I have a few weeks to think about it. If I say yes I would Start July 1, which means I would move sometime in early June.

I really need to sit and think about this for a bit because its pretty big and life changing, if I do it will be for at least 2 years. School would need to be finished within those 2 years and I guess the rest will work out from there.

I have been trying to put money away in anticipation for this event. In the next few short weeks I will know for sure whether or not my life will be picked up and moved 3,000 miles away. It sounds fun, seems fun. But is really intimidating and nerve racking.

Changes?

Slowly but surely my life is changing ever so slowly again and again. I still work a lot and am over school. That will never change.

The economy is in the shitter and I bet huge civil unrest is just around the corner in this country, soon we will be living like Mad Max. Who wants to go start standing in soup lines? I am ready.

I got a phone call today, I may be relocating in June I will find out for sure within the next week or two. Its rather exciting. I am picking up my new glasses in a little while when my laundry is done drying and thats it.

I am pretty god damn boring

hmmm

been 52 days sober, school sucks, working a ton of over time, had the week off from school so i did 1 week of my 2 weeks of required yearly drill because my unit rules like that, trying to get back onto active duty in the coast guard, found it its near impossible because the economy eats ass so no one is getting out and some funding got cut, still attempting to get back in though and using all my available resources, talked to a navy recruiter about maybe joining them, considered the army for about 5 minutes until i thought about pooping in a box in the desert.

thats about it oh and i think dr. pepper has either crack or heroine in it because i dont normally drink soda but i cant seem to get enough of the dr

Its been a while, and I dont know what to think anymore. I have really been trying to get everything in my life right, sorted out. The harder I try to more I fail it seems.

I have been really trying to change everything about me. Well not everything just the way I handle things and do things for myself. I have been eating a lot better, exercising more and gave up drinking (36 days now). I am not sure if its working against or for me. All of these things I am doing.

Life is busy and learning to manage time is a pain in the ass sometimes. I have been working quite a lot of over time lately leaving myself generally one day a week off which is really starting to get old. But scrill is scrill and I need the money. My one day off isnt even really a day off. I have a night class so I spend most of the day doing laundry, catching up on school work and bills.

I put in my paper work four months ago to go back on active duty in the Coast Guard. I just found out yesterday that it had been fully approved and made it to the detailer (person who sends orders to different units). I guess I should hear something by the end of next week. I think getting out of the area again will be the best thing for me. The 6 years I was gone were the most stress and worry free years for me. Since I had moved back to Albany 2 1/2 years ago its been pretty chaotic, stressful and emotionally draining. I feel like my life has been sucked right out from me and I just want that refreshing feeling again. I had that refreshing feeling with my ex, she made me feel loved and appreciated. She wanted to share her life with me and I screwed it up. Go figure I suppose. I tried to mend the wounds and fix it but some of the wounds are deeper than you could imagine.

I feel a little lost and unstable in my future and I just want one thing to be definite and secure. I am grasping at everything and not really able to get a grip. School is draining me, my job wears me thin and stresses me out. I see so much death at work that at times I dont even bat an eye at it while other times I come home and think about it all night and cant sleep. I see lives flipped upside down in an instant while others end just as fast as they started. I see families mourning over loved ones we cant save for them. Thats the hardest part. Last night I watched a woman in her mid 50's watch us work on her husband for about an hour, round after rounds of drugs and cpr every time we thought we got his heart beating it would stop and there was virtually nothing we could do. Watching this woman fall to her knees asking why, crying, and pleading it really got to me, it made me wonder when I will be in that exact position and I wondered if all of this "exposure" to it will make me handle it differently. Will I just act as if nothing happened? Will I be numb to the whole situation while other people are in tears? The only thing I have learned is that in life and death situations is that I can stay pretty calm as do most other people I work with since its something we are involved in every single day we walk into work.

I think the craziest part of my job is watching someone going from breathing, talking, heart beating looking at you to dead in the blink of an eye. I have seen that happen 4 times. 4 times, think about that. In 2 1/2 years of working in the ER I have watched 4 people right before my eyes die. Its fucked up. Not just like someone who was being kept alive on life support until the family says to let them go, or someone who comes in in cardiac arrest, but someone who was walking, talking breathing like you and I just go from alive to dead. I dont talk about what I see at work sometimes because its morbid and most people I dont think will understand it or know how to process it without thinking I am a sick individual. We carry this weight on our shoulders every day, every person I work with walks around with this. The countless people we try to bring back from the dead and the very few we actually do.

I just need something different in my life. I love what I do, I love the people I work with. But I dont know. Its gotten to me a little and its time for a small break I think.