All In A Days Work

After today I really think I can say I have seen it all. Today was an interesting day at work. Some how it was like horses went on revenge against man today. Today we had some crazy traumas. Working in an ER of a Level 1 Trauma Center has really changed the way I look at a lot of things, especially about how much every single person takes life for granted. At least until they almost meet their maker.
I did when I was 16, I was closer than I care to ever be again. In fact I was in full cardiac arrest. This is something my mom never told me until last year. She said I was better off not knowing. Her telling me 9 years later, well I kind of thank her for that. But it really has changed my perspective. Even up until the moment I found out I had always known that I almost bit the dust and that was enough to change the way I looked at things. I guess thats maybe why I am in nursing school and working in an emergency room. There is some sort of sick satisfaction I get out of the rush of it, the gore but also the helping. We get the worst of the worst and try to fix them. Some shit is really scary that goes on down there and I am left with stories for a life time.
But back to the beginning of this whole thing. The horses went on revenge day. So today we had a lot of people hurt on horses, hurt real bad. We had a guy riding his motorcycle who hit a horse and carriage, this man was in very rough shape all ribs...broken, blood pressures were unstable, ruptured aorta. I mean this man was on his death bed, I hope he made it out of the OR.
Then we had a man who was riding his horse. His horse decided to throw him off and stomp on his head. I think this guy is going to be ok though. From what I hear and saw he looks like he should be.
Then we had lady on horse, horse gets spooked, horse throws lady off and lands on top of her, crushing her chest and damaging some internal organs. After a short stint in the hospital she should be ok.
Next....lady on horse, horse throws her off. Lady breaks her arm in 2 spots, goes to get up and gets mule kicked by the horse then breaking some ribs.
Thats not even the worst of it. We had a really bad trauma about 10 minutes before my shift ended which of course ended up keeping me there a little later than I had intended. This was a 20 year old girl. She was riding a quad and flew over the handle bars at about 30mph with her face taking the blunt of the impact. She had no helmet on. So imagine that. It was pretty bad, when I see things like this it does from time to time haunt me in my sleep even when I am awake I sit and think about it. Especially at an age like 20. Its so young. I remember being 20 and thinking I had seen it all, done it all and knew it all. Here I am now almost 27 and every day since 20 have seen more, learned more and done more. I really have this image of her stuck in my head and I can not shake it. Mainly because it was the last thing I saw before leaving work
Today was a different day. Usually get get a lot of shootings, stabbings and assaults. Instead today it was a lot of tragic interruptions to peoples lives who were out doing not wrong but enjoying a gorgeous day. Today I was again reminded about how quickly your life can change at the drop of a hat.
It is on days like today that I at times think about turning to the bottle to forget about it, but then I remind myself that after the bottle is gone and I wake up it will still be there, so why bother. Instead I sit down and share the stories. Not to be some sick fuck or to try to make my job seem so crazy but to remind the people I care about, that they should always remember that it can happen to anyone so enjoy what you have.

and to end this quote just seems to fit.

This is from a song by Alexi Murdoch called Breathe

"And all the suffering that you've witnessed
And the hand prints on the wall
They remind you how it's endless
How endlessly you fall"

Good night

Lifes wacky things

So today as I was leaving school I called my mother to discuss current things in my life. Mainly about my desire to move and about the apartment I looked at, which I am really considering taking.

During our conversation she told me that my aunt found out yesterday that she has breast cancer. Pretty scary stuff. Now my reaction was pretty uh, I guess for a lack of words cold would be the best answer. Not because I dont care, but more or less of what are you supposed to say to that? I mean am I supposed to be sympathetic and all like "oh wow that sucks, thats too bad blah blah". I dont think I am supposed to because we all know it sucks, we all know its scary, we all know the route of treatment sucks. There is nothing pleasant about cancer.

Pretty much it is stage one, the earliest stage, the beginning. The easiest stage of cancer to treat. Usually this involves some minor surgery and some other forms of treatment via medicine. I have enough faith in research, technology and medical advancements to know that things will be ok.

From this point on it is just wait and see.

On another note. Never ever get out of bed and then say to yourself "I can lay back down for 5 more minutes, just 5 more" Because it never happens! Its more like 45 minutes and then you are late.

I have more things I wanted to ramble about but ADD took over and I am craving a baconator right now. I swear god created those things because he loves man kind so much.

So for now....Over and out

riot in the streets

So about 30 minutes after my last post here a riot ensued on my street. It was pretty insane. About 300 kids from Albany High brawling. We asked our neighbor who goes there what started it he told us that it was just something that spilled out of school. It looked more like the Hoover Damn had exploded.

So to say the least it was interesting. Lots of cops, fire trucks, under covers, ambulances and even a few feds were wandering around.

We sat on our stoop and just watched it all unfold. Once the cops really tried to break it up there was a sea of people running down our street. The best line I heard all day was from one cop who was chasing these kids with his baton drawn just screaming "thats right run boys runnnnn!" Shortly after that a girl running full speed tripped over her own feet and fell face first into a car. Unfortunately I began laughing my ass off about this. Maybe it was not so unfortunate. Who knows. So I guess this spilled over into Arbor Hill and backed up traffic for quite some distance.

I did hear sirens going for about an hour straight so this went on for a while.

I tried to get some pictures but this is the best one I got and this is when people began to run




And yea some people even decided to kick it on our stoop

Crazy kids I tell ya

Key West

So while living in Key West having the time of my life is the least I could say about it. I had started a whole new life. An interesting life, well not so much interesting but different. How many people at 21 were living in Key West in their life.

My life had turned into something different while living there. Different in the fact that I started all over with new friends and unfamiliar places, well some what familiar since I had been visiting a few times a year since I was 12. But different in the aspect that 2 weeks after my arrival I would not be leaving this time.

So here I am 21 naive and inexperienced in life. A college drop out who ran away from commitment because I was scared. So I did the most drastic of all. Changed my entire life. Left friends, girlfriend and family. Granted I had some family there but not the amount I had back in New York. The first few months there were spent like the first few months any person spends after moving to a new place. Pretty alone and a lot of time with my father, catching up on the last 14 years of our lives that had been lost. During this time it gave me a chance to really think about myself and my life to kind of maybe point it in some direction. What a good laugh that was while I was in Key West I lost all direction.

So I spent a couple of days a week helping out my dad however I could at the restaurant and couple more days a week working part time at the local skate park. When I was not doing that I was out on the boat fishing, swimming or in my friend Josh's back yard fishing smoking weed and drinking. It was real easy to get distracted down there. The paradise of living on a tropical island but still in the U.S. was very surreal.

This whole story eventually becomes very repetitious. Its a small island with limited things to do. So day to day I worked, partied and went fishing and really that was all there was too it. Not much more than that.

Now that this bland part of the saga of my life is out there I am going to call it a day and get back to some school work that has some very much needed attention

Putting it all together or so I think

So I am sitting here watching Rock of Love on VH1 pondering the things that people would do for "love" or "money", take it as what you want. It just blows my mind. How far out people would go for the big word. Or is it for the money? I guess thats beside the the point, maybe it was just a good opener for whatever it is that is going to spew out of my brain and onto this page. A little thought to start with, mainly about how ridiculous that show and most any shows in this theme are.

Anyway I have been sitting here tonight doing what I have become very professional at, procrastinating. During my 4 hours of procrastination (I suppose this could tie into it) I began think about my life and how its changed over the last 5 or 6 years. But not only how its changed but where it has went and where its going. A lot of things have changed about me. As a person I have grown in so many ways. Maybe thats not even why I started this thing. I don't want to talk about myself but more about the things that I have seen, the things that have made me change in my life. So I guess it is about me. But more so about all of the crazy events, experiences and people I have crossed in the last 5 or 6 years of my life that have helped me change. A lot of people have come in gone in my life, new friends, old friends, girlfriends, ex girlfriends, comrades. So lets take this from the beginning and go back to the winter of 2001.

So here we are a fresh 21 year old, on my way of flunking out of college. Its my junior year and I am no longer sure about what I want to do with my life. Day by day I begin to realize that I no longer want to pursue a degree in history, but yet I am so sure of what I really want in my life. At the time I felt trapped. I was living with a girl who well. I felt pressure from the pressure of that we are supposed to get married. I knew that was not what I wanted but she almost knew that was what she wanted. Maybe I got scared or maybe I got smart? Its really tough too say. At an age like 21 a life long commitment to a degree that you are unsure of and a marriage you are scared to death of, what to do?

This is what I did, this is how I handled it. I one day decided all in this area, the job, the college I dropped out of, the girl I was dating. They were not for me. So I did what any confused 21 year might do in that situation. I headed for the hills. Except these hills were almost 2,000 miles away. To me it seemed to be the only way to not feel trapped. Trapped by my own decisions. I called my father and told him I needed out. The outage could not have come at a more opportunistic time , my fathers business partner had just skipped the country because of some trouble he had gotten into, my little sister was only 2 years old at the time. So with his schedule my help was needed. So the decision was made I was moving to Key West.

Fast forward a few months. I arrive into Key West and am thrown face first into the act of helping run a restaurant with my father. It was learn from mistake and follow by action time. That is exactly what I did. I learned hands on how to run a bar and grille. Oh and did I mention raise my little sister.

Well this is where I stop tonight. I hope my abrupt ending to this story keeps you coming back but also me coming back to keep on keeping on with the story of my life. Mainly I hope to keep your interest.

A few glasses of wine and an empty stomach. What a way to end the night.